Mood: D-I-S-A-P-P-O-I-N-T-E-D!!!
Reading: DP Fanfiction
Watching: ------------------
Listening To: ------------------
Playing: MIKA - Big Girls
Eating: Chicken and Cheese Wrap
Drinking: Sunkist

IF YOU'RE NOT FROM AN ENGLISH SPEAKING BACKGROUND, I HAVE NO BONES WITH YOU! THIS IS FOR MY FELLOW NATIVES - YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER!!!!!

I AM NOT A GOOD WRITER, BUT GOD DAMN IT ALL!!!!

I recently turned back to an old fandom and OTP.

I've been browsing fictions for said fandom, and said OTP.

I AM DISGUSTED BY THE BAD ENGLISH ON RESTRICTED (18+) WEBSITES.

IF YOU'RE GOING TO FAKE YOUR AGE, AT LEAST BE BELIEVABLE!!!!

Let's start with something as simple as the HUMBLE QUOTATION MARK! In PRIMARY SCHOOL, YOU CALLED THEM "TALKING MARKS"!

When used in most fanfictions, they indicate DIALOGUE~! This happens when a character SPEAKS! LIKE THIS!

"Children," he said with modest nod and a knowing smile. "Nice day for vanquishing the greater evils of the world! Beware the perilous pocket change and the dreaded chippie packet!"

SEE HOW I USED ONE WHEN THE CHARACTER STARTED TALKING, AND THEN AGAIN WHEN HE FINISHED TALKING?! (And also when I broke to add description?)

IT ISN'T:

"Children, he said with a modest nod and a knowing smile. "Nice day for vanquishing the greater evils of the world! Beware the perilous pocket change and the dreaded chippie packet!

"Oh, it's only you!

USE THEM TO CLOSE YOUR DIALOGUE!!!

The next great hassle I have, is the use of apostrophes. I see them used heaps as quotation marks - they aren't, but they're passable, and mainly serve as indicators of possession, conjunction of words, place names, or sometimes plurals.

THE PLACEMENT OF APOSTROPHES IS IMPORTANT!

If you are talking about the thermoses belonging to a group of MUMS, it is: The mums' thermoses.

NOT the mums's thermoses.

Not the mum's thermoses.

If you are talking about the thermoses of a SINGULAR mum, then it is the latter. The mum's thermoses. (Probably better explained as "my mum's thermoses".

Here are some examples of apostrophes being used PROPERLY, and WHY! I read The Language Instinct as a part of my editors degree.

* My sister's friend's investments - (the investments belonging to a friend of my sister)
* My sister's friends' investments - (the investments belonging to several friends of my sister)
* My sisters' friend's investments - (the investments belonging to a friend of several of my sisters)
* My sisters' friends' investments - (the investments belonging to several friends of several of my sisters)

I HATE:

YOUR when it should be YOU'RE (FROM you are, AS IN, YOU ARE WELCOME!)
IM when it should be I'm (FROM I am, AS IN, I AM GOING!)
YOU'RE when it should be YOUR (FROM... WTH?! As IN, YOUR TEA! [Unless you truly intend to eat your dinner guests...])


83% of Americans speak English.
8% of Indians speak English.
53% of Nigerians speak English.
98% of people from the UK speak English. (Do I call them UK-ians?)
52% of people from the Philippines speak English.
44% of Germans speak English.
76% of Canadians speak English.
and
92% of Australians speak English.

YES, WE HAVE A HARD-TO-LEARN LANGUAGE, BUT FOR THOSE OF US WHO KNOW HOW TO USE IT, DO IT, DAMN IT!!!!

DON'T TAKE IT FOR GRANTED!!!

God, and DON'T get me started on FULL STOPS, COMMAS and SPELLING...

*Fumes and storms off* At least I wear my fucking "Grammar Nazi" badge with pride...